Party strategy
White Elephant rules, and a gift swap that finishes on time
Open or steal. The arguments are always about the rules — so let something else hold them.
· 7 min read
The rules most groups use
White Elephant — also Yankee Swap or Dirty Santa — needs one wrapped gift per person and a random order. On your turn you do one of two things: open a new gift from the pile, or steal a gift somebody has already opened. If your gift is stolen, you immediately take a turn of your own, opening a new gift or stealing a different one. Turns pass in the drawn order each time somebody opens a new gift.
Three extra rules keep it from going round in circles. You may not steal straight back the gift that was just taken from you. A gift can only be stolen a set number of times — usually three — after which it is frozen with whoever holds it. And because the first player had nobody to steal from, they usually get one last swap at the very end.
| Rule | Usual version | Common variation |
|---|---|---|
| Order of turns | Drawn at random | Numbers from a hat |
| Your turn | Open a gift or steal one | Some tables cap steals per turn |
| Stealing back | Not straight away | Allowed after one other move |
| Steal limit | Frozen after three steals | Two, or four |
| The first player | One final swap at the end | No final swap |
Why a gift swap runs long
A White Elephant for twenty people can easily take two hours, and it is rarely the gifts that slow it down. It is the questions. Whose turn is it after a steal? Has that candle been stolen twice or three times? Can she take it back? What was in that box again? Each one stops the room for a minute, and with twenty people that adds up.
The fixes are all about holding the rules somewhere everyone can see them: a visible order, a count of steals on each gift, and a clear "frozen". A steal limit of two speeds a big group up a lot; three is the classic; four makes for a longer, more chaotic swap.
The app as referee
White Elephant on PartyDen holds exactly those rules while the people hold the gifts. The order is drawn on screen. On your turn, your phone offers the two choices. When you open a gift, you type a few words for what it turned out to be, so the whole room can see what is out there to steal. Every opened gift shows who has it and how many times it has been stolen, the gift you just lost is marked "not straight back", and a frozen gift wears a snowflake.
The host chooses the steal limit and whether the first player gets the final swap. Turns run on a generous clock, and if someone has wandered off to the kitchen, the host can open one for them.
Tips for an office White Elephant
Agree a spending limit in the invite, not at the party — the app deliberately has no prices in it. Ask people to wrap gifts so they cannot be guessed from the shape, and put them all on one table before the start. For thirty people, use a steal limit of two and switch the final swap off.
If your team would rather each buy for one person, Secret Santa draws the names in one room. And for the bit of the party before the gifts, Pass the Chips gets a whole office laughing in five minutes.
Questions people ask
Can you steal back a gift in White Elephant?
Not straight away. The usual rule is that you may not immediately steal back the gift that was just taken from you.
How many times can a gift be stolen?
Most groups freeze a gift after three steals. On PartyDen the host can choose two, three or four.
What is the difference between White Elephant and Secret Santa?
In Secret Santa each person buys for one person they drew. In White Elephant everyone brings a gift for the pile and players open or steal in turn.
Does the first player get a final turn?
In the usual rules, yes: once everyone has a gift, the first player may swap with any gift that is not frozen.
The games in this post
White Elephant
The gift swap, refereed: open or steal, no stealing straight back, and a gift is safe after three steals.
- High energy
Secret Santa
Everyone joins one room, one tap draws names, and each phone shows only its own giftee. No sign-up, no emails.
- Quick
- Call friendly
Pass the Chips
Three chips each, three dice, no decisions: pass left, pass right, lose one to the pot. Last one with chips wins.
- Quick
- Call friendly
More like these on Office Party Games.
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